Trag linie....

Pledoaria nu se incheie aici....

Ciudat - Luna Amara

E ciudat sa-mi amintesc
Cum fugeam odata
Lumea nu era la fel
La fel de ciudata

Rasfoiesc prin albumul prafuit de amintiri, triste, vesele, ciudate, crescute din iubire si sperante, idei si imaginatie. Retrospectiva este clara, viata mea, s-a scindat ciudat in mai multe planuri, dar am reusit, cat de cat sa conturez, cu greu, unul, poate doua...
Totul pare asa de vechi, un morman de nimicuri, pentru altii...Le-as da foc, asa cum ele mi-au ars sufletul...

Dar le pastrez in raftul cu amintiri...
O traiesc pe Eva, pentru a nu stiu cata oara...O urasc, dar de data aceasta nu-i vina mea...
Si sterg praful, am tras linie peste naivitatea de a crede ca unii oameni sunt speciali...ca nu-s ca majoritatea, ca nu te folosesc...Ce copila-s...Chirila spunea bine : "lumea asta moarta va-ncerca sa-ti fure dragostea..."
Un lucru-i cert, refugiul meu sentimental, de fapt, lumea mea o gasesc acolo, in CMOS-urile vietii mele, nu am sa va las sa-mi-o luati!
Tic, tic, tic....Confund timpul, sau doar il caut...?

Odata cu el imi caut si inocenta, si sufletul dat...departe...degeaba... L-as distruge ce-i drept, l-as da inapoi, dar deja ii platesc vama...Timpule da-mi timp...
Dar nu-i nimic...nimic, ha, ce notiune simpla, dar atat de profunda...Cate sensuri ii gasesc, cate prioritati ii acord, si cate atributii...
Ma uit in oglinda, imi zambesc, imi zic, asa, cu nepasare, o nepasare indusa, "Eh, a mai trecut un an..." Zambesc, sincer, fals, doar asta-i induce in eroare, trag linie...

 Si uite asa a mai trecut un an....

E ciudat sa nu mai fiu
Plin de nepasare
Lumea se va stinge-ncet
Plina de uitare

Singura, in lumea mea, cateodata vreau sa transced catre o alta lume...incerc, dar totusi, ceva acolo ma tine, in colivia mea de aur....Macar sunteti acolo...Voi, cei vechi si cei noi, minunati, din viata mea...
Si ma spal pe maini, intr-un lighean cu apa pietrificata, ma spal de pacatul de a crede in ei...de pacatul de a deschide cutia Pandorei...

E ciudat, totul...E ciudat sa coexisti diferit, sa fi cu un pas inaintea gandurilor altora, sa-i simti. E ciudat sa stii adevarul, chiar daca ei incearca sa te minta sau sa se ascunda...E ciudat sa-l simti...Si da, ma simt al dracului de bine ca sunt speciala, si da, imi place sa cred ca sunt cea mai frumoasa femeie din orasul acesta, al deziluziilor eterne, capitala lumii mele...Si ma uit in urma...

Si trag linie...

Vine timpul tau
E ciudat cat de usor
Am uitat sa spun
Totul mi-e indiferent
Poate sunt nebun
 

Da, acum e doar inceputul teancurilor de merite....totul conturat la 21Mp...detalii fine, contraste puternice...Am reusit ceva, dar vreau mai mult, vreau sa-mi rup lanturile si sa ies din pestera, dar de data aceasta va fi altfel....
M-am schimbat, intr-o aura de narcisism exacerbat si ura...Acum totu-i despre mine, exclusiv....la dracu!

Mori timpule trecut, te astept dragule....sunt aici!Dar nu asa cum ma stii...

E ciudat sa-mi doresc
Sa-ti vorbesc
E ciudat sa nu fiu ca tine
Nu crezi nu crezi nu crezi
Ca esti ciudat
Mai ciudat decat mine?!

Trag linie, punct si ...de la capat....


*All rights reserved
Photographers: me & Alex Bulai (self-portraits)

aaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damned aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh cursed aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh eva aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh mind aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh soul ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..............................off.



P.s: keyboard's demon....i am so fucking hate you....yes eat my shorts.....i've said fuck....

My Christmas wishlist....

Urma - Wishlist

Letter to Santa,

      Dear Santa is been a while since i have been thinking about you...
     What i wish for this Christmas, besides Canon stuff like 16-35mm and studio lights, is peace, a lot of peace, love. And this time I want it for real, not a simple twist of faith, that caused me a little mind blowing...
      Next year I want to spend more time with my friends, to feel their love and, also I wish all the best for them. So...more and more mountain trips, climbing stuff and parties.
     Have I mentioned about the Canon stuff?? Oh, please, do not forget about one of the most important things in my life: inspiration. My biggest dream is to became a verrrrrrryyyy goooood photographer, so please, please give me more inspiration, and good luck :D, because it is the only thing that makes me happy...besides love.

     The other stuff that i want:

a little room for you and me
a better way for me to be
the silver ring on my left hand
a child to give a bit of sense

a little rush to warm the blood
some piece of mind for me to hold
a day of rest to cool the brakes
a meaning for my damn mistakes

well...it's taking too long
and it's taking me all
it's taking too much...
so i blame...lack of touch
the touch of my best friend

a silent nest to hear myself
on way to love my gods again
your smile to keep the trouble out
a friend to reach when i am down

a dear mother waiting home
the coffee flavor, down the hall
few simple words "you're great
you bring me joy with all you make.."

well... it's taking too long
guess we're dreaming alone
and it's taking too much
so i blame... lack of touch...
the touch of my best friend

     So...Dear Santa, please don't forget about me, because I was a good child...Til next year, warm hugs!

With love, Valky Nyah Nyah

Autumn feelings...

Chris Daughtry - September

How the time passed away, all the trouble that we gave

And all those days we spent out by the lake

Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made

One by one they vanish just the same

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear, there's nothing left to fear

So we made our way by finding what was real

Now the days are so long that summer's moving on

We reach for something that's already gone, yeah

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

Yeah, we knew we had to leave this town

But we never knew when

And we never knew how

We would end up here the way we are

Yeah, we knew we had to leave this town

But we never knew when

And we never knew how

Never knew how

Of all the things I still remember

Summer's never looked the same

The years go by and time just seems to fly

But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Reflecting now on how things could've been

It was worth it in the end

*All rights reserved
Photographer: me
Model: Ioana A.