...

Pleaca...
Dar te vei uita in urma ta? Nu...

Fugi....lipsa curajului iti va feri sufletul, oricum nu are rost.

Saruta clipa,transpune-te in ochii ei si traieste-o...consuma-ti dragostea de trecut si simte prezentul, pentru ca viitorul deja va fi trecut...

Nu...

Traieste clipa...caci:

Traim prea repede pentru a putea percepe lucrurile in esenta lor pentru a le pune in evidenta precaritatea. Precipitarea noastra le postuleaza si le deformeaza, le creeaza si le desfigureaza , ne leaga de ele.

Viseaza, dar nu-ti imagina!

Iubeste!
Degeaba...

Regizeaza dar nu te astepta, pentru ca nu vei stii cand se va derula caseta...

Zambeste, pentru ca buzele-ti saruta lacrima...

Soseaua, drumul catre cer, stelele, neantul...iti apartin in totalitate...

Puritatea, naivitatea...

Respira adanc...uita-te in fata ta, pune-ti castile...
Arunca-ti geaca pe umeri, si mergi de parca lumea-i a ta, si dupa tine...potopul...

Oricum ce conteaza? Oamenii sunt meniti uitarii...te uita, te uita cum deja te-au uitat...

Dar acolo, la coltul strazii, te asteapta sa mergeti impreuna, pe cai separate, doar prietenia si simtirile v-au adus setea de a fi...undeva...in viata, impreuna, voi acei cativa.

Pana acum te-ai mintit, sau nu ai realizat...oricum ce conteaza? E prea tarziu...nu le pasa...Te judeca si te condamna??

Distanta...
Mereu masori distanta, este asa de importanta? De ce mereu imi spui ca tu esti acolo si eu aici, pentru ca ne limitam...

Ce-i distanta?
Nu stiu,poate ca necunoscutul...
Iti e frica, d-aia fugi...pleaca...

Timpul,durata? E invarianta fata de noi, daca ii vei vrea sa-i cauti cheia...

Sortiti unor forme degradate de intelepciune, bolnavi ai duratei [...] , luptand cu timpul, suntem alcatuiti din elemente ce fac din noi niste rebeli sfasiati intre o chemare mistica lipsita de orice legatura cu istoria si un vis sangeros care-i este simbol si nimb.

Ai sa reusesti, deja iti stii menirea, te-ai resemnat!

Si ma voi fi dus departe....
Si numai eu voi fi stiut ce-i acolo...nu ai sa intelegi....

Si esti fraier sa crezi ca nu exista soarta si destin...
Daca nu ti se intampla, inseamna ca nu-ti este predestinat...scopul...il cauti, eu il gasesc.

... Ar fi inspaimantator sa crezi ca din tot acest cosmos atat de armonios, desavarsit si egal cu sine, numai viata omului se petrece la intamplare, numai destinul lui nu are niciun sens...

O sa vezi cand...
Acum e prea tarziu, iti voi fi spus...asteapta.

Dissolved girl

Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl

Shame, such a shame

I think I kind of lost myself again

Day, yesterday

Really should be leaving but I stay

Say, say my name

I need a little love to ease the pain

I need a little love to ease the pain

It's easy to remember when it came

'Cause it feels like I've been

I've been here before

 

You are not my savior

But I still don't go

Fade, made to fade

Passion's overrated anyway

Say, say my name

I need a little love to ease the pain

I need a little love to ease the pain

It's easy to remember when it came

I feel live something

That I've done before

I could fake it

But I still want more, oh. 

*All rights reserved
Photographer:me
Models: my lovely friends Crisa & Razvan

The end...

I'm sick of me, of the old me...I'm not a loser, I'm a winner...This is how it supposed to be...I just want me. This time the universe will be mine, he will do whatever i want to...

So...

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

After all, the end is the man best friend...All things come to an end...Everything has an end, everything has to end somewhere. 

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again 

I just wanted to live my never-ending story, made with sweet dreams, love and trust... Useless. So, this is the end of my expectations, I shall build another ones...
 

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land 

I  broke this picture, i chased away my dreams... 
This is the end of my spirit's journey. He rested here for a while, believing that he finally found happiness, love, harmony...But he's wrong, he found just wisdom... A great treasure, I'd say... But this is not enough...he just wants to be free, free to love, to feel, to scream, to laugh to hate... free to do anything.  He wants to share his selfishness in  two. As a result, every end has a beginning...

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah 

My innocence, apparently was killed, you took it away, but I'm waiting for the summer rain, she'll wash away my pain, my bad thoughts, my love... Let the storm begin, feel my wrath... The last feeling of madness, paranoia. My life is too short to be like that...

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby 

All I wanted was... I found what I was searching for, but it was too good to be true, is all in my head...I hate this.

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold 

I was caught by some feelings, by lust, purity, innocence, by the temptation of being with you... I'm poisoned again...

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest  

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill 

Go there...but don't kill my soul, my dreams, my hopes...

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

I don't want to look in the past anymore, because i'll miss the essence of life. What's done is done, i'll leave it alone, i won't regret it... 

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die 

I just wanted to make you smile, to make me smile...

This is the end 

I'll leave this place, I'll go faraway from you, faraway from here, into a place that you can't find me... faraway from everything. Because this time is all about me... All I want is to be alone for a while, to discover myself, because it hurt too much...I've suffered enough...Loneliness is my only confident now... I just don't wanna lose you, because is too good to be true...

This is the end of myself, I'll give birth to a new me, same old new me... I won't look back, there's  a single today, the rest, is past... I shall go with the wind...

I found my happiness provider, i won't let it go... 


*All rights reserved
Photographers: me for the pics 3,4,5
                           Darius C. for the 1st picture
                           Alex B. for pictures 6,7 
All the pics are edited by me

ironie sau ironic?

Nisipul imi mangaie pielea...

Vantul adie lin...

Marea se uita la mine cu ochi verzi invaluiti in nuante de maro si pe alocuri de albastru, patrunzator...ma pierd in ea...ma simt fericita.

Sau confund...?

Dar vantul imi aduce-aminte ca fericirea-i efemera, ca lumina unei lumanari, nu exista practic...bate mai tare, imi rascoleste sufletul, vreau sa ploua...

Ploua...ma linistesc...

Mi-a luat tot...

Iar pierd, si ma intreb cu ce am gresit...

Dar nu-i nimic, pentru ca marea a fost,este si va fi dragostea mea, macar ea nu va pleca, odata cu vantul...Va fi acolo, cand o caut, ma va primi mereu cu bratele deschise si cu atingeri racoritoare, ma va purta in neant...

E ironic, stiu...

Pentru ca mereu raman cu marea-n suflet si cu scoica mea...cu o scoica cu povesti uitate, scrise de un suflet ratacit si singur mereu, care din cand in cand crede ca a gasit marcajul ce duce spre varf sau refugiu...

Se inseala, nu stie sa se orienteze probabil...si-a pierdut candva busola, sau poate ca nu a avut-o niciodata...

Si pun scoica intr-un raft, prafuit cu deziluzii, vise, sperante...inca astept.

Si ma voi fi pierdut intr-o culoare...

 Nu renunt...



 *All rights reserved
Photographer: me
Tools: 1st pic Canon S3IS, 2nd and 3rd Canon EOS MK ii+closeup lenses

Cry with a smile....

Cry with a smile
My heart is bleeding
Bewildered I'm here alone

Why is there pain in beautiful moment?
Why do I feel so lost, so empty?

Cry with a smile
My heart is healing
From pain I knew that would come
Why is there luck in a deeply sad moment?
Why do I feel so calm, so peaceful?

 Take my heart and set it free
Take my heart and give it time to heal
I know in my memories you'll alive

Take my heart a little while
Take it with you to the place you'll go
I know we will meet again some day

 Cry with a smile
My heart was dreaming
Of time I knew would come to an end
Why do I cry about a beautiful memory?
Why do I feel so hurt, so lonely?

 Take my heart and set it free
Take my heart and give it time to heal
I know in my memories you'll alive

Take my heart a little while
Take it with you to the place you'll go
I know we will meet again some day

*All rights reserved

Photographer:me

Model: Maria M. (great model)

Tools: canon 450d, canon 18-55mm, filters :Uv+PL

Nu am ce face...

Ora 1.12 am, locatia Ploiesti.

Nu am somn, dupa o saptamana plina de furtuni, inundatii spirituale mi-am cautat refugiul in grotele umanitatii. Am fugit de lume, intr-o escapada mica la tara, undeva prin vest, cu un pumn de prieteni...
Si sunt pe drum, ma gandesc la tine, la mine, la tine copilul din mine....

 Da, sunt un copil prost, care se bucura la o bomboana mucegaita...Si ce daca? E bomboana mea, glazurata cu praf de iubire, cu umplutura de ura, zambete si facuta din speranta. Tu mi-ai dat-o..de la altii.

Rad...
Plang...
Oftez...

Trec mai departe, si iar...

Ma uit in zare, privesc in gol, imi vorbiti, va aud, dar sunt departe...Multumesc, promit ca invat! Ma descurc, abia astept...Va iubesc.

Imi e frica, dar lupt! VREAU!

De ce?
Nici eu nu mai stiu, a murit...Credeam ca ai reinviat, dar m-am inselat....O resuscitare va rog....mai am 1 minut...Rigor Mortis...? O eternitate...

Sper...
Visez...
Urasc!

Te astept...
Pleaca... De ce?

Vin acum, vrei? Nu, mai bine lasa...

Astept, inca!

Ce? Nici eu nu mai stiu....

Never stop Rocking

 "De mic copil – cu asta am crescut "

(in memoriam...)

Sunt tanar, Doamna, vinul ma stie pe de rost
si ochiul sclav imi cara fecioarele prin sange,
cum as putea intoarce copilul care-am fost
cand carne-mi infloreste si doar uitarea plange.

Sunt tanar, Doamna, lucruri am asezat destul
ca sa pricep caderea din somn spre echilibru,
dar bulgari de lumina dac-as manca, satul
nu m-as incape inca in pielea mea de tigru.

Sunt tanar, Doamna, tanar cu spatele frumos

si vreau drept hrana lapte din sfarcuri de cometa,

sa-mi creasca ceru-n suflet si stele in os

si sa dezmint zapada pierdut in piureta.

Sunt tanar, Doamna, inca aripile ma tin

chiar de ating pamantul pe aproape cu genunchii,

aceasta putrezire ma-mbata ca un vin

caci simt curgand printr-insa bunicile si unchii.

Sunt tanar, Doamna, tanar, de-aceea nu te cred,

oricat mi-ai spune, timpul nu-si ascute gheara

desi arcasi cetii spre mine isi reped

sagetile vestiriï, sunt tanar. Buna seara!

Marunteii te saluta...

"A venit, a stat, acum a si plecat. El spunea “de intors in timp as vrea, dar nu e nici o graba, pentru ca ne vom intalni Dincolo, dupa ce terminam cu viata asta”."...

Cui si spin....

rupt in colt
strans in piele
spart in os
flori de foc
sa te-ngroape iar la loc

dinte rau
sa-nnegreasca ochiul tau

sfant in cap
stai pe cruce despuiat

am sa m-omor
cant iar numele tau
ai sa te-ntorci in mine
vanat dumnezeu

inimi vin
si din piatra si din spin
cred sa pier
tot ce n-am sa pot sa iert

 cui si chin
gol in tine, ma inchin
sange rau
sa ma curga-n raiul tau

*All Rights reserved

Models: me, Alice D.

Photographer: me

Cap de coarda

Si brusc viata mea s-a schimbat. Momentul pe care-l asteptam, a venit, invaluit intr-o ceata neagra...
Traim intr-o lume fara scrupule, unde cadavrele-s calcate-n picoare, ipocrizia e in floare, iar binele pierde mai mereu in fata raului. Cei buni vor muri de foame...

Imi pierd ratiunea si deviez catre panta abrupta, ma uit inainte, in zare. Peisajul pare rupt dintr-o carte, feeria-i sumbra imi invaluie sufletul cu o oarecare intunecare si inima-mi pompeaza un sange...pesimist.
Vantul imi bate-n spate, ma uit in jurul meu, totu-i gol... ma uit in jos. Imi fixez mai bine pe talie hamul vietii, trag de coarda si zambesc, un puseu de andrenalina imi urca la tample, caut speranta.

Aici nu o gasesc, sistemul nu ma ajuta...ne-a omorat. Privesc in perspectiva, nu exista sau poate nu o vad eu aici, sau poate ca urasc ceea ce vad, imi e scarba, lehamite, greata. Da...imi e greata, hai sa futem sistemul, dar stai...deja ne-a aranjat el pe noi...birocratia.
Ma uit in jos, imi pregatesc carabele pentru asigurare,o viata lunga ma asteapta, traseul pare excitant, hmm... Vizualizez cat de cat primele pitoane, imi scot camera, o setez, trag o panorama...si ma duc. Picior la stanga, mana la dreapta, ajung la primul piton, infig caraba...
Parca a durat o vesnicie! Palmele-mi sunt transpirate, caut un punct de sprijin, mainile ma dor... Vantul minciunilor bate din ce in ce mai tare, ma uit in jos...Parca nu era asa de abrupta....?!Brusc imi pierd motivatia...Ma simt total fara ajutor...Cum naiba am ajuns eu cap de coarda????????
In jurul meu se lasa ceata groasa....


Sunt o luptatoare...viata-mi e un proces in pronuntare, la baza muntelui e verdictul. Caut apararea, solutia o gasesc, dar probele nu exista, se intorc importiva mea.

Eu un sfarsit al noului inceput, sau inceputul sfarsitului...imi fac mustrari de constiinta, habar nu am sa ma tin in coarda...dar am ajuns cap...

Intr-un final toti facem rapel pe coarda vietii, important e sa stii sa te asiguri, sa fii experimentat...

Alunec...

Cad....

Nu...pentru ca-mi place...

Ai avut vreodata senzatia ca tot ceea ce simti, faci, gandesti...reprezinta o mare greseala???
Ai purtat vreodata un razboi intre inima si mintea ta...?

As vrea sa pun capat ideilor, gandurilor, dar nu pot. De data asta nu, poate ca nu vreau, poate ca pur si simplu nu pot. De ce nu?
Pentru ca acest cuvant NU, imi place, ma imbata in iluzii, ma hraneste cu deziluzii, imi omoara realitatea, imi renaste spiritualitatea...
Azi zic NU fiintei mele...
Azi zic NU inimii mele...
Azi zic NU mintii mele...tot o refuz...
Azi zic NU viselor...
Azi zic NU suferintelor...
Azi zic NU muntelui...
Azi zic NU telefonului...il arunc...ii dau foc...
Azi zic NU formei fizice ce-mi descrie umila existenta..nu..nu...
Azi zic NU sfaturilor tale, da stiu... ai dreptate...ma urasc...
Azi zic NU, dar de fapt e DA...


Astept...

RESTLESS

She embraced, with a smile,

as she opened the door.
A cold wind blows,
it puts a chill into her heart.

You have taken away the trust,
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.
Past and present are one in her head,
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.

Take my hand as I wander through,

all of my life I gave to you.

Take my hand as I wander through,
all of my love I gave to you.

You have taken away the trust,

you're the ghost haunting through her heart.
Past and present are one in her head,
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.

Take my hand as I wander through,

All of my life I gave to you.
Take my hand as I wander through,
All of my love I gave to you.

*All rights reserved:

Models me, Alice D. , Marius T., Darius C.

At the cemetery gates

The reverend he turned to me
Without a tear in his eyes
It's nothing new for him to see
I didn't ask him why
I will remember
The love our souls had
Sworn to make
Now I watch the falling rain
All my mind can see
Now is your (face)

Well I guess You took my youth
I gave it all away
Like the birth of a New-found joy
This love would end in rage
And when she died
I couldn't cry
The pride within my soul
You left me incomplete
All alone as the
Memories now unfold

Believe the word
I will unlock my door
And pass the
Cemetery gates...

*All rights reserved

Photographer of un-focused shitty pics: me